Pleasure Systems: A Deeming Effect

What if the atoms surrounding me right now were with them? Through time and space they traveled to reach me. The only connection left is the space around us. Do these atoms carry the emotions built? Do they know our past? Did they witness the hurt? Do they carry it with them? Were they affected by the pain in our hearts exhaled through our lungs into the seemingly empty space?

Atoms are always surrounding us even when we don't see them. Do they know the past and future? I lean on them for support, but sometimes they cannot hold me up. If atoms cannot support me physically can they still be here? Are these invisible atoms giving me a hug of support because they know all? Are they going to stick to me or are they going to stay for a while and leave again? I wish they would stay, but at the same time it's comforting to know they may meet others who need the love they hold.

The space around me is so empty, yet these atoms can be so full of love. I may be alone when thinking of humans, but these atoms that hug me so strongly and deeply provide me with much needed comfort about life and the world. When I move, they move. When I hurt, they hug. When I become happy, they support me through it all. Always here for me, yet never seen.

I hope the atoms in the universe know my thanks. I hope they can move and support others as they do me. The universe may be vast and infinite, but the atoms that are squishing me with love right now will carry it with them, even if the future people they surround don't know. Maybe they're holding on to love of past soulmates. Surrounding me with love and anguish and end. These past soulmates may be gone, but their love is now all of our love.

The atoms spread, and whether we like it or not, they will be here for all of time. As I move now, I dance with the atoms, but do they enjoy it? Do they wish, just as I, that they could simply be? Or even less, simply not be? Just as they carry love, does their own hurt overwhelm them as it does me? I hope they can feel my support. The atoms hug me and I hug them back.

Have they carried unspoken feelings to me just so I can feel them in the end? Do the ones around me now carry the pain I built in your mind? Do they feel my guilt and sorrow? Did they make their journey for the simple goal of uniting us again, in the only way possible? These dear atoms are the only thing we have left together.

The atoms around me spread for my anguish, but they just as quickly suffocate me with past love.

Written April 16th, 2023.